Friends Reunited - Again

Endings and Beginnings

Life is full of endings and beginnings. Some make us happy, some make us sad. I have had more than my fair share of sad endings. I had one today.

But last Saturday I bumped into my friend Yvonne. I hadn't seen her for ages. We arranged to meet and on Tuesday we spent a very happy evening together, catching up on each other's lives. It never fails to amaze me how, unbeknown to you, your life is running in parallel to someone else's until you suddenly arrive at the same place at the same time.

Yvonne and I have both undergone a fairly painful transition period but are now happier and more fulfiilled doing something that allows us to be true to ourselves, rather than true to the idea of what we think we ought to be doing. We talked and talked and would have carried on all night, had we not realised that it was very late.

I am pleased for Yvonne and know that she will succeed on her chosen path. She knows where she's going and how she's going to get there. That's a very liberating experience.

'I feel like an Island'

My friend, Sam, said this today. She is cast ashore in her own little world where no one else but her remembers the 'dying fly' dance or thinks that it is perfectly reasonable to draw on your boyfriend's face in indelible marker while he is asleep!

Sam is a legend in her own lunchtime. She constantly has us in fits of giggles at her long and convoluted stories about her often tempestuous and always interesting life. If Sam didn't exist, you'd have to invent her. Keep them coming, Sam!

A Friend in Need
I have a wonderful friend called Franco who is the brother I always wish I'd had. To me, he is the family I would have chosen.

He's stood by me through thick and thin and is always there when I need him. When things go wrong, he's the first person I turn to and he always makes me feel better. We don't see each other very often, but we don't have to. Our friendship is solid and strong.

Thank you, Franco, for simply being there. I wouldn't get through without you.

Happiness is ...

A New Pair of Shoes
If you're a girl, you'll know exactly what I mean. If you're a guy, don't even try to understand!

There is something about new shoes that makes you feel a million dollars. It's the look, the smell, the feel, the promise of your new shoes making you feel more glamorous.

I adore shoes and I adore them even more if they're a bragain. The brown suede kitten heels with a cute little bow that I bought today were reduced from £130 to £50, which in my book is a fantastic bargain! They had one pair in my size so, obviously, I was meant to have them. Oh, and did I mention they're L K Bennett? - shoe heaven ...

Long Lunch
Lunch is absolutely one of my favourite things. It's not just the prospect of delicious food and a good glass of wine (or water if you're being good), it's the fact that lunch usually means getting together with friends, catching up with each other's news, and having a laugh together.

I had a wonderful lunch today with two very dear friends, one male and one female, whom I haven't seen for ages. Everything was perfect. The restaurant was bustling, the food fantastic, the waiting staff attentive and polite (they were mostly French) and the setting elegant and sophisticated. We celebrated our coming together with two bottles of champagne (my favourite tipple) and the bubbles quickly went to our heads and made us feel giggly and relaxed.

The best thing, though, was the conversation which was intimate, funny, revealing and moving. Over four hours, we shared our secrets, hopes and fears and laughed at our various trials and tribulations, as well as at ourselves. We reaffirmed our friendship which, by the end of the lunch, had grown even deeper. We parted with hugs and kisses and a real determination to see each other more often. I really hope we do.

Nail Art

Stars and Stripes
We all spend a lot of our adult lives being very sensible indeed, me included. There's the responsibility of work, children, mortgages etc. At work I have to adopt a professional persona. It helps people take me seriously.

But sometimes it's good not to be serious and to show people that you haven't lost your sense of fun. I do that by having wacky nails.

I go to Blazing Nails (fantastic name) once a month. It' s a lively place, always bustling with people as it's tremendously popular. But it still mantains an atmosphere of calm, thanks to the beautiful and serene Vietnamese nail technicians, both male and female. They look at you shyly while they're doing your nails at the same time as conducting frantic conversations with their colleagues, usually without even looking at them. To me, the Vietnamese language is both fascinating and unintelligible, yet at the same time it has a mesmerising quality. It all adds to the experience.

I never know what pattern I'll have. It depends on what mood I'm in. Yesterday I chose black and white stripes with stars and lines of glitter. It looks fab.

Over the top? Undoubtedly! Will my nails get noticed? I hope so! They're for a black tie and diamonds ball I'm going to in a couple of weeks. They'll go perfectly with my black satin and diamante ballgown.

I love dressing up. It's so much fun. But then again, at heart I'm just a big kid!

Friends Reunited

Lunch with Sarah
I had a phone call from my good friend Sarah today. We hadn't spoken for months, but she's the sort of friend you don't need to speak to everyday to keep the friendship going. No matter how long the gap inbetween, we just pick up where we left off. That's the sign of a true friendship.

We're very similar in personality, if not in looks as she's fair and I'm dark. But we share a passion for our children and shoes, in that order of course! We've both been through hard times and talking about our experiences has brought us closer and made us stronger.

I adore Sarah. I can say absolutely anything to her in the safe knowledge that she'll listen and give me her honest opinion, but never judge. And we always laugh together.

So we're having lunch next week and I can hardly wait. Seeing her is always a tonic.

I Accidentally Bought a Kitchen!
Is what my friend Sam (short for Samantha) said to me this morning. Sam 'accidentally' does a lot of things which is what makes her such a vibrant and interesting character. She has seen a great deal of life and is the queen of complicated relationships, but her sheer gusto sees her through and she is one of the most positive people I know.

Sam doesn't know if the kitchen units will fit, but they were a bargain so what does it matter? She can always cancel later if she needs to. Good for you Sam.

Easy Like Sunday Morning

The Luxury of a Lie In
There is something soothing about Sunday mornings. It's the one day in the week when I don't have to get up early so this morning I've stayed in bed for an extra couple of hours - bliss! I'm up at 6.00am every weekday to catch the train to Cambridge and even on Saturdays I get up at 6.30am to take my son swimming. I don't mind, though, as I love to see him powering through the water and he is the most fantastic swimmer, better than I will ever be. He's had lessons since he was small and it's really paid off. He's been asked to join the swimming club, but he doesn't want to be put onto a training treadmill. He swims simply because he loves it and that's the best reason for doing anything.

Christmas is Well and Truly Over
We took the Christmas decorations down yesterday, a day late if you're superstitious (which we're not) as the 12 days of Christmas were officially over on Friday. But the children were ill with flu and none of us felt like it, so we put it off. I love taking the decorations down almost as much as I do putting them up. I like things being restored to order. People say that a room looks bare when the decorations have gone, but I think it looks more spacious.

We keep our decorations in the loft, which is huge and full of tons of stuff accumulated over the years. One of my New Year resolutions is to clear it out to make more room. The only thing is, when you start looking, you come across so many interesting things, you get side-tracked! I've spent many a happy hour up there looking through old photographs or reading old letters as the memories come flooding back. It's quite addictive.

A New Rug
We bought a beautiful new rug yesterday, and some new cushions, which have transformed our living room. It's amazing how such a relatively small change can make such a big difference. It looks fantastic and has spurred us on to do things to the rest of the house. Next will be the hall. I'm very excited about the projects we've got planned. It's good to feel that life is moving forward again.

Coffee and Croissants
We have lots of family rituals in this house and having coffee, croissants and fresh orange juice on a Sunday morning is one of them. The delicious smell of the croissants warming in the oven is enough to entice even the children out of bed. Sunday morning breakfasts are relaxed, happy affairs and Sundays are pressure free, lazy days in which you can re-charge your batteries and do whatever you feel like. They really set you up for the week ahead - which is exactly how they should be!

I Miss You Dad

Memories
Today has been a day of memories, both happy and sad, but mostly sad. It was 18 years ago today that my beloved father died, very suddenly, from a massive heart attack. He'd had the first heart attack between Christmas and New Year.

That's why I don't like New Year. For years, I simply went to bed and waited for it all to be over because it meant another year without my darling Dad. The night before he died, I drove back to London, where I was living then. I had a very bad feeling and I hated leaving him, but the hospital had said everything was fine and that he'd be out soon. They couldn't have been more wrong. Deep down inside I think I knew I was never going to see him again.

Bad News Made Worse
I heard about my father's death from some insensitive idiot at my stepmother's work who simply said: 'She's not here because Don's died'. I'd already said I was his daughter. He couldn't have been more cruel and I will never forgive him.

My sister came round to the office and we caught the train home together. We cried so hard, people moved so they wouldn't have to put up with our wailing. Tough. I cried so much that day, I pulled all the muscles in my throat, but I didn't care. My Dad was dead and that was all that mattered.

Does Time Heal?
Don't let anyone tell you it does. It simply puts distance between you and the person you've lost, but the pain for me has never gone away and never will. It's a good pain. It reminds you of how much you loved that person and the massive impact they had on your life. Of course, you learn to cope with the feeling of loss and it doesn't mean you'll never be happy again.

You still have moments of great joy. But a part of you is always missing and all that remains is the love you had and the memories you cherish. I still feel my Dad's love which was unconditional and all-embracing, even though I wasn't his natural daughter.

Seize the Day
When my Dad died at such a young age (59), it made me reassess my whole life. He died just four months after I'd got married. Ironically, my husband has the same birthday. He made the most wonderful wedding speech imaginable and everyone cried, especially me. Thank you for that Dad. It was the most perfect parting gift.

From that day I decided to get on with my life, to live each day to the full and make it count, and to cherish the people around me in the way that Dad cherished me. I also decided to start a family and my son bears my father's names - Donald William. Dad would have been tickled pink. He would have adored both my children and delighted in them, the same way he delighted in me.

I miss you Dad but I'll never forget you and I'll never stop loving you, just as you never stopped loving me.

First Day Back

Broken Resolutions
First day back at work and everyone's feeling tired, including me. It's as if we've all been drugged and can't move quickly anymore. Brain doesn't work well either. Too much lying on the sofa, eating chocolates and watching dvds. Now it's back to reality, big time!

Lots of resolutions from colleagues in the office about going on a diet, but scuppered by a lunch at Pizza Express to welcome two new members of the team. Vowed not to drink, but gave in to a glass of Pinot Grigio. At least I had salad!

Travelling Companions
Commuting can be a lonely business but I'm lucky to have a fantastic group of travelling companions. There are five of us, all extremely different, who catch the 7.12 to Cambridge every morning. The chemistry really works and we always have interesting and amusing (if often loud) conversations.

Sometimes I think we disturb the other travellers, but no one has said anything - yet. In true British style, they simply look at you with a face that says everything, but they don't utter a word.

i-Pod Virgin
Well I was until today when I used my i-Pod Nano for the first time, only I forgot how to switch it off. I won't forget again. Immersed myself in the sweet soul sounds of the Isley brothers, followed by the mellow mood music of Moby. Wonderful to escape into an inner world. It's the only way to travel.

Bath, Bed and Book
In that order. Nothing better than feeling really clean and snuggling under the duvet with a good book. It's Harry Potter tonight. I'm the only one in the family who hasn't read the latest one, but I'll catch up soon. I could read books all day and sometimes do. It's another world to get lost in.

Last Day Off

As a family we are movie mad, so what better way to spend the last day of my Christmas holiday than at the cinema? if you haven't seen Peter Jackson's King Kong, then you're missing a treat. It has something for everyone - action, mind-boggling special effects, romance, pathos, drama, excitement, dinosaurs - you name it and it's in there. It will even make you fall in love with a big CGI ape (if you're female and soft like me anyway) and some of the shots are so breathtakingly beautiful, they stop your heart. The film also features the sunset of all sunsets, plus many amazing landscapes, so it's worth going for the visual feast alone. Oh, and of course, there are Oscar-winning performances from the cast. Look out for Naomi Watts on the podium. My money's on her. It's the second time we've seen it. We've also seen The Chronicles of Narnia twice (we like the big screen) and that was also better second time round as you could anticipate your favourite bits and appreciate them even more. However, King Kong gets my film of the year award. Okay, I'll shut up about King Kong now, but it is fab!

The day started with very good news. Our neighbours' daughter had a little baby boy called James at 4.30 this morning after almost two days in labour and a good deal of anxiety over whether or not she had pre-eclampsia. Thankfully mother and baby are both doing well. James is Shirley and Ken's second grandchild and joins his little cousin, Campbell who was born in October to their other daughter, so they now have two bouncing grandsons. A Dutch friend of mine also had a baby on New Year's Eve, a little girl called Senna, so there is mini baby boom going on in Peterborough at the moment. However, baby days in this house are well and truly over and I'm planning all the things I'm going to do when my two eventually leave home! Although it won't be for a while yet, it pays to be prepared ... There'll be no 'empty nester' blues in this household!

It is lovely being consumed by parenthood, a really magical time, but it's also wonderful to get your life back and see all your hard work come to fruition when your children turn into the people you always hoped they'd be and you realise that they're the sort of people you'd like to meet, even if they weren't your own offspring. I believe the main thing is to have good communication and I'm pleased to say they talk to me about everything, although they obviously don't tell me everything - they're not silly! They say that the more you let them go, the more they come back to you and I think that's true. It can be hard letting them have their own space, but they need that space in which to grow and find their own way and as long as they know you're there when they need you, they'll be fine. I admire the confidence Calum and Lola both have and only wish I had half of it when I was their age!

We're all watching Love Actually together this evening - a real feelgood film. That's what there is in this house, lots of love and you can feel it the minute you walk in the door.

Off to run a bath now. Lola has chosen pink bubble bath - her favourite colour. She's a real girlie girl and I wouldn't have her any other way!

New Year New Day

The first day of 2006 and I'm up at 7am after only four hours' sleep. This is not unusual for me. Sleep interferes with all the (many) things I want to do, so I'm lucky that I don't need much. In our house, it's a girl thing. My daughter is also a little livewire - didn't sleep through the night for six years, yes six years! It's just as well that she is gorgeous, otherwise I might have sent her back! She is so like me in both looks and temperament (ie quite explosive) that her nickname is 'mini-me'. My Mum thinks it's hilarious as she says it's like having Amanda Mark 2, only blonde, well dark blonde actually (or mousy if you want to wind her up!). I'm very dark, like my Mum, but my sister is fair. I don't look like my Mum or my sister.

The men in our house are very laid back and love to lounge in bed as long as possible! They are both very artistic - my husband was a commercial artist for 20 years, but, sadly, was made obsolete by both his age and his inability to do artwork on the computer. He prefers what he calls 'real' drawing. His artistic genes have been passed on to both children who are wildly creative and very talented. They would rather draw than watch TV which, needless to say, I'm very happy about.

We are a family of four - Amanda (me), Joe (my husband), Calum (my 15 year old son) and Lola (my 12 year old daughter). We have great fun together and laugh a lot which I think is very healthy. We saw the New Year in with our neighbours and several glasses of champagne. There were fireworks in the nearby park which lit up the sky and gave everything a very festive feel. It was a great way to start 2006. 2005 has been quite a hard year for us. Many of our neighbours we don't know, even though we've lived here for 14 years, not because we don't want to but because we all lead such busy lives. The houses are quite far apart (although ours isn't that big) so we tend to know the people next to us very well, as well as those neighbours who have children because we've seen them at the school gate. Now that the children are at senior school, they walk on their own which is great in one way but a little sad in another. It's just another sign of them growing up.

What will we do today? I will cook an enormous Sunday lunch and then we will watch 'It's a Wonderful Life', one of Joe's and my favourite films. In fact I bought it for Joe for Christmas. It will be a relaxing family day which will be lovely. Time together is very precious and we treasure it. Soon it will be back to the routine of school and work but today is a day just for us - fantastic!