Dad's Roses

The card reads 'In memory of a much loved father, Don.
Gone for 23 years but still missed every day'.

Dad's roses - he loved bright colours.

The roses on display.

Dad's roses.

It is 23 years since my darling Dad died.

I went to the crematorium this morning just as I have done for the past 23 years.

Last year it was snowing and the crematorium looked eerie and beautiful.

The weather today was grey and drab and very gloomy. The crematorium looked bleak and sad.

When I went into the Book of Remembrance room, a cleaner was hoovering. It seemed an insensitive thing to be doing when the room was meant to be open to people grieving for their loved ones. She stopped hoovering when I was there and took her vacuum cleaner into a side room.

But I knew she was there hovering and it didn't feel right. She started hoovering again almost before I was out of the door.

It made me feel angry.

But mostly I felt sad.

Saying that it seems like yesterday since Dad died sounds like a cliche, but most cliches are based on truth.

And it's true that I miss him today as much as I ever did.

I miss the conversations we never had, the things we never did.

But I also cherish the time we shared, the conversations we did have and the things we did do.

They still make me smile.

It is strange to think that I am now only eight years' younger than when he died.

Time passes so quickly. You blink and another year has gone.

So it's important to make the most of the time you have and to cherish the people you love while you have them.

Just as I cherished my Dad.

And still do.