Goodbye Beatrice

The graveyard where Beatrice is buried.

The stately home where Beatrice worked as a cook.

St Peter's Church.

On 23 December I attended the funeral of my step grandmother, Beatrice. Her full name was Beatrice Ada, an old-fashioned name for an old-fashioned lady who lived for 95 years, the 'baby' sister of her elder sister Winnie who is still going strong at the age of 104.

Funerals are always sad occasions, but if a funeral can also be beautiful then Beatrice's was. I call her Beatrice as it's her name and a really lovely one, but throughout her life, I knew her as 'Grandma' and indeed most people who knew her also knew her as 'Grandma'. It seemed to suit her particular qualities - a kind person who didn't stand for any nonsense and could be quite stubborn, even cantankerous, in her ways, but always cared about people, especially her family.

At the funeral I found out things I hadn't known and wish I had. Like the fact that she started her life in service. I'd love to have talked to her what it was like to be 'below stairs' and all the gossip that must have gone on about what the servants really thought of their masters.

She ran a pub and I'm sure she could have told me tales of the customers who frequented it and the antics they must have got up to.

She was also a cook in a stately home linked to the Cardigan family (Charge of the Light Brigade and all that) and it was therefore appropriate that a member of the family came to pay his respects even though he was wheelchair bound. He wanted to say a personal goodbye to the woman who had provided faithful service to his family for so many years.

She fell in love with and had many years of happy marriage with 'her Harold'. The description of their romance was both touching and sad as he died long before his time, leaving her a widow for more than 30 years. She also had the sorrow of losing one of her two beloved sons, something a mother should never have to bear. So she knew great sorrow as well as great happiness.

The overwhelming impression I came away with from the funeral was one of a woman who lived a rich and full life, living independently until the very end, and constantly cared for by members of her family.

She died peacefully in her sleep and was reunited with 'her Harold' in a plot next to his - together again at the end.

The setting also played its part - a picturesque church, opened specially for the occasion and a beautiful snowy day which made the proceedings atmospheric and ethereal.

It was a fitting tribute to Beatrice Ada. No frills, no fuss, just everything done as it should be.

I feel certain she would have approved.