Goodbye David

Out of the Blue
Two weeks ago today my cousin David died out of the blue from a massive heart attack. He was eight days' older than me.

When something tragic like that happens it really makes you think.

So, instead of spending the Friday before Christmas getting ready for all the festivities, I found myself in a bleak crematorium on the outskirts of Northampton, surrounded by grieving friends and family.

Lost in Fog
There was thick, inpenetrable fog that day in which we all got lost and nearly didn't make it. Luckily, I'd allowed an extra hour, or we'd never have got there in time.

A wrong turn followed by a heated argument in the car found us stuck in horrendous traffic in Northampton town centre which seemed to crawl one car at a time. All you could do was sit there. You could almost hear the ticking of the clock. As the minutes ebbed away, so our tempers became more frayed.

Grief makes you very raw.

The gloomy weather reflected everyone's mood. We were all bracing ourselves for what we knew would be a heartbreaking event - and it was.

'My Best Friend'
I'd never met David's best friend, Keith, but I did at the funeral. He choked his way through a moving and at times amusing recollection of their lifelong friendship, one that had taken them from Primary School through to the day David died.

At times Keith became too choked to speak and the tears welled up in his eyes but he said he 'didn't want to let David down' - and he didn't.

I have been to funerals where you come away feeling that the whole thing was impersonal and detached but Keith's speech made us feel that David was there with us. Most of all, it was obvious how much he was loved, not just by Keith but by his whole family and especially his wife Emma and step-daughter, Zoe, from whom he'd been so cruelly snatched away.

Emma was inconsolable and I will never forget the sound of her sobs as the curtains finally closed around the coffin.

Most of all, I felt for my Aunt Gwen.

As a mother, I can imagine nothing worse than losing a child and she'd lost her only child. She didn't need to say how she was feeling. The look of loss and despair on her face said it all.

A Close Bond
She and David were very close, especially as his Dad had also died at a very early age, leaving the two of them together to rebuild their lives. I always admired the way David took care of his Mum and we were all delighted when we heard that he was getting married as we'd almost given up on him!

It just goes to show that love can come at any time - even if it's later than you expect.

A Strong Woman
Gwen is very strong and a has a close relationship with her brother and sister who will undoubtedly support her, but this is not something you ever recover from. You simply learn to live with it.

You expect to lose a parent but not your child.

'I Will Always Love You'
When Calum was little he was madly in love with Whitney Houston and every time this song came on, he would stand transfixed, listening to her beautiful soaring voice.

This was the song Emma chose for David and the words say it all. In the stillness of the chapel, the music was crystal clear and achingly sad.

it will never sound the same to me again.

Goodbye David
David and I didn't see that much of each other in recent years, except at family gatherings, but I have many fond memories of our growing up together as part of a big and loving family.

Goodbye David. I will never forget you and I will always be glad you were my cousin.